As human beings, we are ‘wired’ for social interaction. It is who we are, and not only that… scientific research shows that we need contact with other people if we want to feel mentally and physically healthy. Yet today, more people than ever struggle with feelings of loneliness and abandonment, including in the workplace. Why is this, and what solutions can be found at individual and societal levels? There is plenty of food for thought.
Let us begin by dispelling a persistent belief. Not everyone who is alone feels lonely. A period of less social contact, briefly withdrawing from busy social life, or even consciously choosing to remain single are not causes of loneliness. On the contrary, these can be strategies to restore and deepen the connection with oneself. From that deep connection with one’s own values, an authentic and fulfilling connection with others becomes possible, which helps to suppress feelings of loneliness.
True loneliness has many faces… social, emotional, and even existential loneliness, to name but a few. Furthermore, the belief that only the elderly feel lonely is completely outdated. Recent figures show that social media, where young people are most active, paradoxically causes loneliness to grow due to a lack of physical human interaction. Being lonely is not the same as being alone. And it is different for everyone. The rule of thumb is: if you feel lonely, then you are lonely.
Creeping causes
Loneliness is not something that overcomes you overnight, although trauma and the resulting changes in life circumstances can play a significant role. When people feel socially isolated or feel they lack meaningful relationships, something begins to gnaw at them from within. Their self-confidence decreases, they question themselves and their contribution to society, and they feel inferior. If these feelings persist, they will lead to true loneliness in the long run.
In addition to personal circumstances, objective trends in our society also play a role in the emergence of loneliness.
- An aging population
The proportion of elderly people in our population continues to rise. They often live alone, which increases their risk of loneliness. According to figures from Statbel, approximately 1 in 5 Belgians aged 65 and over often feel lonely, especially if they do not have children nearby or have not built a strong social network.
- Social isolation of young people
Students and young people just starting their careers often experience a lack of social connection. They have not yet built a bond with colleagues and lose track of friendships during the busy phase of their young lives. Despite their constant online connections, many young people lack genuine, personal interaction.
- Hybrid and remote work
The COVID-19 pandemic has drastically changed the way we work. Hybrid work models offer many benefits, such as flexibility and an improved work-life balance, but they also lead to an increase in loneliness in the workplace. In Belgium, 30% of remote workers indicated they felt isolated due to the absence of informal contact and limited interaction with colleagues. Organizations that invest little in social networks or in facilitating virtual interaction with their employees score the worst in this regard. - Urban planning and loneliness
Finally, living in a large city often leads to a sense of anonymity. People live packed together but hardly succeed in establishing real connections with others. Curiously, living in a crowd brings about a particularly high degree of individualization.
Initiatives for more connection
Loneliness has serious consequences for our physical and mental health. It is high time that we stop expecting the approach and solutions to come exclusively from those struggling with it, and instead take our responsibility as a society.
Depression, anxiety, and stress, but also high blood pressure, a weakened immune system, and a higher risk of heart disease are just a few of the many consequences of loneliness. Let us no longer ignore the elephant in the room: loneliness costs society a great deal of money. At the organizational level, absenteeism and reduced productivity are at the top of the list of consequences. Government, businesses, and local communities can each contribute in their own way to more social connection, and preferably sooner rather than later.
Warm neighborhoods, more community centers, social activities focused on real connection, attention to mental health at work, health programs, and accessible sports clubs each form a link in the long chain of initiatives against loneliness. But above all is the eradication of the shame associated with the phenomenon. Talking about what is on your mind, the concerns you carry, and being able to share that honestly with a handful of people helps you not to feel so utterly alone in life.
Social cohesion and safe vulnerability at both the individual and societal levels contribute to a warm society in which we can once again establish genuine attention for one another.
