If the water becomes cloudy or the flow decreases, turning off the tap and locating the blockage is the best solution. This is the shared responsibility of both managers and employees. Those who dare to investigate as far as the stagnant, foul-smelling pool will discover unfulfilled needs and unspoken emotions. Connective Communication is more than just a tool; even in deep-rooted professional matters such as these, it brings freedom, possibilities, and the restoration of relationships.
Recent research by Ghent University and De Morgen shows that managers play a crucial role in both the onset of burnout and the recovery from it. At Walk Your Talk, we recognize the impact leaders have on organizational culture and employee well-being, but we also wish to broaden the perspective: employees also bear responsibility and can take ownership of it through Connective Communication. When a company creates space for this process for both parties, fewer ‘taps’ need to be closed, and an authentic flow ensures continuous supply and purification.
What is your own impact?
Burnout occurs when connection is lost—not only with your manager but, above all, with yourself. Excessive workloads, being available around the clock, and time pressure only exacerbate the situation. A valuable step in the recovery process is to pause and look within before pointing fingers at others. In Connective Communication, this is approached as follows:
- What do you observe within yourself? Use your senses and avoid interpretation or judgment. For example: “For the past six months, I have said yes to every request colleague X has made.”
- How does that make you feel? What emotions does this observation trigger? For example: “I feel sadness.”
- What need lies behind this? Your emotion is a signal: something you value is not being met. For example: “I value collaboration and flexibility, so I am happy to take on extra work. However, I also value autonomy and freedom, and that is where the conflict lies: I am failing to set my boundaries.”
- How can you change things yourself? What strategy can you use to create impact and break this cycle? For instance, I could decide to delay my response to colleague X’s request by saying, “I will certainly look into your request as soon as I have finished today’s tasks. Is it alright if I get back to you this evening?” This way, I give myself the time and space to sense what I truly want to say “yes” to and what requires a “no”.
This conscious way of dealing with events and patterns brings you closer to your own needs and desires. Once these are clear, you will find the space to engage in dialogue with others—such as your manager or a colleague—in the same way. This is guaranteed to result in a completely different type of conversation, as you are connected to your core values and remain open to those of the other person.
