It is convenient because there are no traffic jams, time-efficient because it is quick to fit in, and, not least, location-independent. Does digital communication then only offer advantages? No, is the short and concise answer. Moreover, digital depression is lurking just around the corner. We highlight three pitfalls below.
In early June, Mattias Desmet wrote an extensive piece in Knack about the exhaustion caused by digital conversations. In his argument, he returns to the earliest stage of life, where babies need the physical proximity of their mother to learn language, perceive subtle emotions, and even add scents to the palette of their communication.
As adults, we actually have the same needs to achieve a valuable, complete way of communicating. The screen and the connection via a fiber-optic cable are merely disruptive interferences at that level. The result is that you feel tired after an online meeting, never truly get the feeling of having had a ‘good conversation,’ and are left with a sense of emptiness. Not just once, of course, but if digital conversations become the norm, we all roll toward exhaustion.
Three pitfalls in digital communication
- Body language disappears
We all know that non-verbal communication is important. But we only notice how many things we unconsciously derive from it when we can no longer do so via video chat. Because you often only see your conversation partners from the shoulders up, arm and hand movements, for example, are completely lost. Gauging tension or resistance also happens through the body. This entire block of unconscious communication enables us as humans to predict how the conversation will proceed, and we adjust our answers and questions accordingly. Calling via a screen makes that process difficult and creates unpredictability, which in turn leads to stress and fatigue. - No chance to dance
A conversation is a dance in which the partners respond to each other flawlessly thanks to inner mirroring, minimal but crucial changes in muscle tension, and entering each other’s world of experience. For the aforementioned, physical proximity is an absolute prerequisite: beneath every exchange of information lies a particularly intimate game of transference between bodies. That sounds more erotic than it is, but without it, the conversation immediately becomes impoverished.
- Deception of the mind
Although we see the other person in front of us on a screen, we experience a massive distance. Or as Gianpiero Petriglieri puts it: “In digital interactions, our minds are deceived into believing we are together, but our bodies know this is not the case. What is so exhausting about digital conversations is the constant presence in the absence of the other.” That sense of loss can lead to depression and passivity.
At Walk Your Talk, we therefore consciously choose a hybrid offering where live training sessions are supplemented with webinars and online tools. The best of both worlds, so to speak. As trainers in connective communication, we are convinced of the value of human proximity in conversations of any kind. Once that need is met, we are happy to look at other complementary forms of communication.
